Have you read this article yet? No, go read it, I’ll wait for you to read all 6 pages.
Yesterday I received my baby fix. We were at my cousin Megan’s house and their friend had his baby over. She was just 2 months old and at that stage where she isn’t too picky about who holds her. It’s funny how babies have the ability to make you feel like a monster pariah-WHAT?! YOU WON’T LET ME, A STRANGER, HOLD YOU!? JERK! I don’t know why baby rejection makes people feel so bad, it just does. But thankfully, this baby loved me and that of course, made me feel great. This baby loves me, ME! ME! ME! ME!
(I’m self-banned from touching babies-this is what they do to me)
I had started to read this article that afternoon, but only hopped onto page three before we left. So while I held, coddled and cooed stranger baby into loving me, I couldn’t help but think about it. Additionally, since I had only reached page three I didn’t have (ha) the full story.
I thought about how of course she was great at 2 months… but what about the future? I’m so empathetic I cry at hallmark commercials, I can’t even watch war movies because they affect me for days. How on earth will I be able to relate to my child’s successes and failure without losing my mind?
After reading the last page I think the takeaway is this (from Tom Gilovich)”Should you value moment-to-moment happiness more than retrospective evaluations of your life?” This is important, because as a parent it appears that your moment to moment happiness is lessened by children, but that your retrospective evaluations of your life are pretty great.
As someone who literally went from saying “I like other people’s kids, but am unsure about having my own” to “ooooo! Baby! ME HOLD BABY?!” I’m just not sure what my answer is in regards to children. When you have children, you give up so much for them. I wonder if I will ever feel it is the right time. Will we ever have “enough” money? Will I ever lose “enough” weight to become pregnant?
Not to mention, deciding which country to raise children in. Talk about a big decision! Hypothetically speaking, say we decide which country to have them in, are we tied to our familial geographical locations? Can we raise our nonexistent kids on our own, without familial help? Would we even want to? My cousins, aunts, uncles and certainly grandparents were a large part of my upbringing. I can’t imagine life without them. Will our kids have to? Will they know the close ties that cousins can provide?
When it comes to kids, there are too many questions and not enough answers.
ps. Sorry this post is old, but I am clearing out my drafts!
