US meets UK

Alrighty Hive,

It’s time.  After 8 months of blogging with you my day is here. People have been asking me all week if I’m nervous and I can’t figure out what they mean.  Nervous about my marriage? Nope.  Nervous that the centerpieces won’t be just right? Yes.

Such is life though. Friends and family keep saying whats important will be done, and what isn’t isn’t important.  HELLOOOOO Don’t they know it’s ALL important   It’s been an interesting week of combining cultures, explaining customs, crafting and hoping for the best. But you know what? The best is yet to come, because later today Mr.D and I are getting married!

I keep waiting for the nerves to come and I wonder if I’ll get them right before I head down the aisle.  Like when I danced all the time and I suddenly had to pee right before I went on stage.  Let’s hope I’m not thinking about the restroom during the ceremony.

Thank you all so much for being such a source of inspiration.  For having fun with me during BeeTvs, for fixing my problems when I came frantically asking for help and for every comment you’ve ever made. It all means the world to me. I have tons of posts to share with you that I haven’t gotten around to finishing yet, so you’ll be getting a bunch of “time traveling” posts from me. Thank again, my wedding (and let’s face it, life) wouldn’t be the same without all of you!

See you “on the other side”

<3

Miss D’orsay

For the past month and half I can honestly say I’ve spent a  fair amount of time wishing for all the planning to just be over, and for us to be married.   Which in retrospect, is a complete shame. Yes, planning has been stressful but I won’t ever plan our wedding again so wouldn’t it be better to remain present and enjoy this stage of our lives?

I always see a fair amount of talk regarding “staying present” in the moment on the actual wedding day.  I’m beginning to feel thought that it’s just as important to remain present for your planning.  Here we are, in an in between stage of life, a stage filled with excitement, hope and promises and for almost 60 days I’ve just been wishing it were over.

Which isn’t to say because I wanted it “over” that I wanted our relationship to be over, it’s more the “OMG there is so much left to do!!!!!”.  Which in reality is “I put too many crazy projects on my plate and should have finished them a month ago”.  Yet, I still find  myself adding more projects even though we’re coming into our final week.

Both my (and Mr.D’s) stress levels have reached an all time high and the other day in the car he turned to me and said the things I’d been thinking for quite awhile.  “Is it bad to say I just want to be married and for this whole thing to be over and done with?”. So we agreed yesterday that although it was stressful, that we would really try to remain present in what we were doing and why it was important.  To focus on this celebration of our union with our family and friends and not focus on how sick we are of cutting and sanding wine bottles (and our 7897345798 other tasks).

Have you found yourself wishing the planning process was over already?

Do you follow your vendors?  I do! I recently joined Twitter and since Twitter pulls your email address to help you find people you know; it naturally pulled my vendors who tweet.  Instantly, I was following along with our DJ, Photog and Officiant.  I already followed some of their blogs (and Laura and I go to TaeBo together), but this new social media makes me feel more connected than ever.

I enjoy hearing about the other weddings they’re doing, seeing new blog posts and getting to know more about them on other levels.  I also think it helps them get to know me and my style in different and more in-depth ways.  For example, when I accidentally made myself look like a superhero my DJ joked that he could play superhero music for my entrance and my photographer gave me the contact info for his hair stylist friend!

In fact, I sorta wished all my vendors tweeted and blogged so I could follow along.  Except the cake baker…because I don’t know if I could handle tweets about buttercream while dieting.

Do you follow your vendors?

Yeah…so the story goes like this.  While in Paper Source Mr.D hears a song he wants for the mother/son dance. Yay, finally! So we’re listening to the song at home and asked my dad for his thoughts.  His thoughts? “Isn’t this the song from Midnight Cowboy?” Then my dad proceed to fill us in on the movie, which is one about broken dreams, heartbreak, the sex trade and this song that apparently plays at the end when his friend dies.  Hmmm, not the mental images we were going for. If you’d like a laugh…here’s the video.  Mr.D and I like his smooth moves, especially the hand twirl and the “skipping over the ocean” part.

We chose the Beatles In My Life instead.

Any clue what I’m referring to? It’s my ears, and in particular, how I plan on decorating them on the wedding day. Or really, how I planned, then couldn’t decide, then lost one pair of earrings and am back at square one with two weeks to go to the wedding. hmmm.

At first, I considered wearing smaller pearls and a cameo necklace.  But that much jewelry seemed distracting and I eventually decided it was best to only decorate my ears. Then the question became posts or drop/dangle earrings?  They need to be large enough to show up in photos, but light enough that I don’t get  a headache.

I found this pair that I loved, but waited to long and they disappeared…le sigh.

Then I started exploring earrings that dropped or dangled.

I started to become concerned that my earrings would be competing with my veil, getting caught in it, or generally making my face/head are too “busy” and went back to looking at post earrings.

I stumbled over to emitations and found this pair.

I ended up just purchasing the emitations ones and hoping they work out! I’m at the point where I’m getting too close to be picky!

What are you doing for the wedding? Posts or Danglies?

Alaska…no, not that proposal!

The proposal involving this!

K…maybe there weren’t oranges involved, but there was sushi!

After Mr.D and I had picked out the ring it had to take a trip to New York to be sized.  We were told it would be back the following Friday.  As luck (bad luck?) would have it I was home from work the Friday it was due and I was ultra excited.  Mr.D drove off to Tiffany & Co to pick it up and while he was gone I attempted to take a nap.  I had just severely sprained my ankle and had been given pain medication for the first few days.  Despite being drugged up, I couldn’t sleep at all!

When he FINALLY got home (okay…maybe it was only 45 minutes) I asked to see it. Mr.D had a huge smile on his face that he was (poorly) attempting to control and calmly tried to tell me that the store had made a mistake and the ring had missed the shipment to Florida.  You should probably know that Mr.D is a terrible liar.  He smiles and laughs and I hope I never have to depend on him to bluff our way out of a sticky situation.

I looked him straight in the eye and said “Tiffany’s wouldn’t do that, I bet you hid it somewhere I can’t reach”. Which, in our Miami house was practically everywhere.  There were tons of high shelves and cabinets I probably couldn’t even reach with a ladder. He kept laughing and smiling though, so I just kept telling him what a liar he was.  He dared me to call Tiffany’s and I was thisclose to doing it, but worried the store would think I was crazy.

All Friday, Saturday and Sunday he kept his ruse up and I kept telling him he was a liar; he actually almost had me by Sunday evening.  I figured if he hadn’t proposed by then, then the ring probably was coming in on Monday… We had a great day on Sunday going to the beach and hitting up a movie and sushi.  I had emailed the photo of the ring to my best friend (and MOH) and the first thing she said was WOAH THAT’S BIG.  Then I got all worried that the ring was too big and ostentatious so while we were waiting for our meal I asked Mr.D what he thought. The food was taking foreverrrrrrr so I said we should make wasabi diamonds to pass the time.  I got busy crafting my wasabi into a square using chopsticks and I was so intent on making it perfect I didn’t see Mr.D fumbling around in his bag across the table.

When it came time to show each other our handiwork I went first.  He said “that’s pretty good, but I think mine is better”.  He turned the plate around and there it was on the plate with a little dot of wasabi in the middle of the ring.

The first words out of my mouth? “YOU’RE SUCH A LIAR!!!” Whoopsies…then I let him say all sorts of nice things and I said “yes, of course” and we were officially engaged.

It turns out he had a plan and was going to make me wait longer, but then at dinner everything seemed to just fall into place and he had the perfect opportunity. Which is a good thing because I probably would have gotten annoying.

What was the first thing you said when s/he proposed?

I recently joined a book club and the first book the group chose to read was The Time Traveler’s wife.  The movie apparently has a different ending, but I’m sure the same points regard fate/determinism/chaos are likely still explored.

We were discussing the issue of if the two characters really had a choice in meeting and being together or was it all pre-determined by fate? Which then brought up real life relationships, did any of us believe in soulmates? Every single one of us answered no.

The more I thought about it, the more strange I thought my own answer was. Mr.D and I always joke that we were fated to meet, because it just seems SO unlikely that it could happen any other way. My friend Erin, asked if we hadn’t met in Austin did I think we would have met again? Which while possible, just seems so unlikely.  I’d like to think, that had Mr.D and I not met; that we would each find other people who make us just as happy.

However, it’s hard for me to think that or assume the outcome of that situation since Mr.D is already a part of my reality.  I cannot imagine anyone else I’d be as happy with. My other married friend piped up and said that she thought her husband was her soulmate. Which made me wonder, if you think your mate is your soulmate…do you believe in soulmates in general? What causes the mental divide between “I’ve met my soulmate and soulmates exist” and “I met my soulmate, but I don’t believe in soulmates”?

I don’t think I believe in soulmates, but I do think Mr.D and I were fated to meet.  There are so many different ways our meeting could have happened and so many directions we could have taken once we’d met.  So I’d like to think that “fate” (or whatever) throws opportunities our way and we have free will to captilize on those situations or not.

Do you believe in soulmates? Would you say yoru partner is your soulmate?

When Mr.D and I first started talking about marriage, weddings and rings we went shopping together to see what was out there.  I’d try on a few rings here or there, trying to figure out what we both liked best. I’m not much for surprises and he wanted to be sure we both loved the ring because we’ll both have to look at it for a long time.

One day we had decided to go on a mammoth ring shopping excursion. We had ordered a few rings in from Tiffany’s in the sizes and designs we liked but hadn’t heard a call from them yet.  So we went to Mayors, and a few other places in Coral Gables trying on rings as we went. Mayors was having an event with multiple settings and multiple loose diamonds..but none of the Asscher cuts my heart had been set on. Mr.D and I were both having a difficult time imagining the settings with a mystery stone.  Plus at the time, overweight and in the heat of Miami; my fingers were big. So shoving size 6 rings on and off my finger (for literally hours) was much less fun than I anticipated.

Plus, there is just something about jewelry store that makes me break out into a sweat.  I have no clue why, but I just feel under so much pressure! I was sweaty, hungry and in pain when we decided to take a break and grab lunch. Because if there is one important fact to know about me it’s this – don’t let my blood sugar drop. At least if you want to stay friends with me, otherwise you might disown my and my low blood sugar snappy comments.

Feeling refreshed we grabbed ice cream and sat on a bench, a bench that happened to be in front of Tiffany & Co. We thought, maybe we’ll just pop in and see if they’re there…The rings were in! Success! The experience in the store with the store manager was completely unlike the previous service we had experienced.  they were very laid back and let us take our time and think about which design and ring we wanted.  Then the manager suggested we take a look at it over by the window in natural light.  As it lit up and blew our minds, Mr.D just looked at me and said “that’s the one, it has to be”.

The manager brought us champagne and we purchased the ring that day.  Our experience was so fantastic I even wrote Tiffany & Co. about how wonderful and different from our other experiences it was (no sweats! well, I didn’t tell them that…).  Sadly, when trying to size my finger we estimated incorrectly.  My finger was SO swollen that we still ended up guessing the size too large, which is how my ring ended up with a pair of balls.

Did you and your SO pick out your ring together or was it a surprise?

When it came time to plan and write out our ceremony Mr.D and I were considerable overwhelmed.  After all, neither of us had any experience writing a marriage ceremony. After turning to the internet, we then turned to our officiant.

We’d been having a particularly difficult time when it came to wedding rituals, none of the ones we could find really spoke to us as a couple or fit with our ceremony.  What if the wind blew out our unity candle? Or if our sand jar was misplaced, broken or all mixed up during a move? What happens to the water after the water ceremony? What if I spilled wine/chocolate/other food on myself?

Then we started talking about planting ceremonies, which while great also stumped (tee hee hee) us.  We don’t really have anywhere permanent we plan on living for a while; certainly no place to plant a tree. Then we started talking about how much we both loved Austin (where we met) and the Southwest in general. When it hit us, how about we plant a cactus?

Sure, a prickly cactus at first glance might not seem the best symbol of a marriage but if you’ve speant time around them you might see why I find them so impressive.  They can be used for food, medicine and shelter for small animals. They can be as delicate as they are hardy and to replant one? Just simply stick one on the ground and it will replant it’s roots where ever it falls. Since we’re nomadic, it seemed like the perfect choice.

We ordered a cactus (from Arizona) and I wrote the text for the ceremony. I sent this to my officiant and asked her if she could smooth it out and tweak it a bit.

Christiana and Nick will now take part in their cactus planting ceremony to symbolize the roots of their relationship, and the continued growth of their love as they become family to each other today. Unlike a tree, a cactus can be replanted over and over, without any true danger to the the plant.  Much like Nick and Christiana, they can spend a fair amount of time moving around while still strengthening it’s roots. Many of you know, Nick and Christiana met and fell in love in the Southwest and this cactus will serve as a daily reminder of the beginnings of their relationship. As they provide the sun, soil, and water for this cactus, they will provide the encouragement, trust, and love needed on a daily basis to consciously nurture and nourish their connection to each other.

And she sent back this:

We will also be symbolizing the depth and meaning of this union today through a special ritual- uniqe to Christiana and Nick.  The two of you will now take part in a cactus planting ceremony.  Many of you know, Nick and Christiana met and fell in love in the Southwest and this cactus will serve as a daily reminder of the beginnings of their relationship.  It symbolizes the roots of their relationship, and the continued growth of their love as they become family to each other today. Unlike a tree, a cactus can be replanted over and over, without any true danger to the the plant.  Much like Nick and Christiana, who have spent a fair amount of time in their relationship being uprooted and moved around but growing stronger all the while.

Nick, please add the soil.
Christiana, please add the water.

And thus, we’ve made our own ritual (sorta). Woo hoo!

Have you created any rituals for your ceremony? What rituals did you incorporate and why?

I’m finding with the wedding drawing closer and closer each day, my fitness goals seem harder to reach.  I had been constantly trying to figure out how to add more cardio to my workouts to supplement my personal training sessions.  Go to a class you might say? I don’t belong to a gym, and sadly, I’ve worked my JM Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism DVD into the ground.

(Can I look like her?!?!)

So I did what thousands of people before have done.  I laced up my shoes and hit the ground running.  There are a few things you should understand about me though.  When I say running… I mean jogging.  Never in a million years did I think I could or would be one of “those people”; runners are an intense set of folks. Some of them run over 26 miles…ALL AT ONE TIME!!! I’d tell myself “I’ve had a knee surgery, countless ankle injuries and that I just can’t see the joy in endlessly running”.  All excuses to avoid giving it a go because I simply thought I couldn’t do it.

During one of my earlier training sessions with my trainer he had us get on the treadmill. “Oh no, I protested, I can’t do that…I’m not a runner”.  After we ran a mile I thought, “Hey! I can do this!…maybe I could be one of them!”. Since that day I’ve been finding more and more reasons to jump on the treadmill after a training session or to just get running in general. I’m even considering a 5k in October!

(source)

What has really helped me the most? Indie Runner Soup. It’s a podcast on Itunes and I can’t get enough of it.  I found it over a year ago and always wanted a reason to listen to it but since I wasn’t a runner I settled for listening to it in my car or on the elliptical (which just isn’t the same). In fact, I’m willing to say that a fair amount of my reason for trying running in the first place was the podcast! Yes, my name is Ms. D’orsay and I run because of a podcast.

My personal faves? The Heat Stroker Mix and the 2 HR Best of ISR.

Anyone else pick up a new activity or hobby during wedding prep?