I might still be a bit bitter…but I know it was for the best
Miss Rye Bread – you’re onto me (and my sister); this is what you said in a comment on my Bad Bride post:
“…I’m also “that sister” who didn’t ask her only sister to be the MOH. Are you asking her to be your MOH? We’re such different people, I feel like she hardly knows me. I absolutely want her by my side on my wedding day, but I felt my closest friend would be able to anticipate my stresses / “get what I mean” when it comes to weddingness. At least for my sake, don’t judge her so hard. Maybe talk to her about it some time. If my sister’s ever upset about anything, I find out about it through my mom. She said she’s happy being a BM, but I don’t think she’d ever say what she really felt.”
For the majority of our lives my sister and I have been very different people. Very different people that fought with each other almost constantly. I wouldn’t say I assumed I would be her MOH, but I did expect a conversation about why or why not. To me, I really wanted to put the past behind us and help her plan her wedding. She’s very laid back and has difficulty looking at either the details or the big picture. Whereas I am a planning nut job. She chose her dress and her photographer and that was pretty much it. She expected our mother and I to pick up the slack on everything else.
Her MOH was nowhere to be found during any of the planning and told us all about the bachelorette party the day of! Then around 1 am before her morning wedding my sister and I were up folding programs and loading nerf guns (yes nerf guns) and I snapped. I don’t remember all the details but I remember crying and screaming at her and leaving her downstairs to mull over my unintelligible shriekings.
I couldn’t sleep and felt terrible about it (I still do today!). I woke up extra early and baked her scones, apologized and did her make up. We’ve talked about it since and our relationship has really grown as a result. I now understand that different people need different MOH’s, my sister needed one that would calm her down instead of wind her up; she needed someone as laid back as she is. It also gave me an out, because I need a MOH as on top of things (if not more so ) than I am.
I’m excited to have my sister by my side at my wedding and I’m glad we’ve grown closer over the past few years. She’s been incredibly supportive and helpful during the planning for my wedding and I really can’t tell you all how grateful I am to have her in my life. We may always have been sisters but I’m glad we’re friends now.
Anyone else deal with bridal party politics? Or the sister MOH/sister BM business?
