US meets UK

For the past 3 months, Mr.D’orsay and I have lived with my parents.

For the past 6 days (as well as the next 6 months), Mr.D’orsay and I will be living with his mother and brother.

Living with our respective families certainly has both positives and negatives, though in our opinion mostly positive! We’ve saved so much money (or really, saved the money we needed to spend on plane tickets) and had the opportunity to really bond with our families as a couple. Mr.D’orsay has had so many nice chats with my parents and I’d often come home to find Mr.D’orsay and my dad hanging out. My parents have really gotten to know him, which I think is even more important since they haven’t had the longest time to get to know him before we became engaged.

I’m not going to lie to you guys, for all the positives of living with parent’s there are a few negatives as well. We both found it difficult after living on our own to move back in. There is little time or space to find intimacy with each other, its difficult and occasionally opportunistic to do so. If we have a fight, its tough to separate, because there is no where to go! Equally, we each occasionally need our own alone time, which can be difficult to acquire in a house with others.

Its also the little things, such as dinner. Mr.D’orsay and I became used to cooking our own dinners in Miami, but in Maryland my parents would often cook dinner for four. It will probably seem odd to many of you that I’d occasionally not want dinner cooked for us, but its the loss of coupledom. Some days I’d really like Mr.D’orsay and I to choose our own dinner, cook it like we used to do and eat as a unit.

There are many things we’ve put off purchasing because we don’t have a home for them. We don’t have our own kitchen, dining room, bedroom or even our own walls. Because we don’t actually live anywhere, we don’t have an opportunity to nest or have a sense of permanence about where we live. So in some ways, our permanence travels with us, between us, where ever we go and isn’t tied to a place or a home that we call our own.

Have you had to move back in with your parents? How have you dealt with the positives and negatives of moving back?

This entry was posted on Friday, December 19th, 2008 at 3:17 pm and is filed under Wedding. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.