US meets UK

Hey hive!

Just buzzing by to try out the randomizer series! When I look at our photos I’m struck by how much has changed, and how much has stayed the same. For starters, I’ve been rocking blonde hair for over a year now…it’s strange to see myself as a redhead! We’re still lucky to be surrounded by our wonderful friends and family, even if we’re further down I-95 and living in Capitol Hill instead of Baltimore now.

I don’t know if I ever mentioned just HOW many photos there are of Mr.D and I making out kissing. So many, that when my dad wanted to look at the photos in a slideshow I almost died of embarrassment. Word to  the wise, save the kissing for your post-reception festivities. So it’s inappropriate that the first photo is…kissing.

In all fairness—our photographer told us to kiss for this shot…

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To share a message to all short women (or those who wish to wear boots). My entire life I’ve been thinking I have freakishly large calves. A calf mutant if you will, even when I was very thin, I STILL couldn’t find boots to fit me. Did I ever measure my calf? No, that would make too much sense. Turns out, I have a totally average calf width (why should you care? I’m getting there).

In another of a long fruitless list of interenet searches for wide calf boots I stumbled upon widewidths.com. There it was, explained in all its glory! It’s not that I have abnormally large calves – it’s that I’m abnormally short! Which means my calf begins way before other taller women’s calves begin.

So if you’re below 5’3, rest easy! It’s just your height that is freakish, probably not your calves.

of 2011! Ha, have I taught you nothing? This is a process that never ends, it goes on and on my friends….

We’re about to remove the conditions on Mr.D’s provisional green card/permanent resident card. That’s right, we’re in a provisional marriage. Our learner’s permit of matrimony if you will. Basically, to ensure that you’re not in a sham marriage (and I assume, to collect further revenue) after you receive the K-1 (fiance visa), then after you are married and complete the adjustment of status you receive a provisional green card – valid for 2 years from receiving the card. In our case this is January 2010, so when the government refers to anniversaries… they mean when you received your card – not your wedding anniversary.

You can apply for your 10 year card as soon as 90 days before your expiry date. For the past year or so, I’ve been having flashbacks to our engagement year. Moments such as, “oh, we should save a holiday card to send to the government” or “don’t forget a picture of the two of us, we need evidence!”.  If you don’t submit the forms, evidence of your relationship and $590… you get deported. So obviously this needs to be completed.

It’s a stressful situation for so many reasons, but it’s also a strange position to find yourself in.  Trying to view your relationship as an outsider, making sure you look like a real couple, proving to someone you’ll never meet that you are a couple in a real marriage. I’ll be collecting the financial statements saying our bank accounts are intertwined, and plane tickets to show we go places together- because I have to. But I hate this process, I hate that it makes me feel that the burden of proof is on us, that it costs so much money that it is never ending.

I hate that I have to try and and plan our vacation before December 31, 2011 – because if we don’t receive something from the government saying that Mr.D can travel-we’ll be on the lower 48 lockdown and unable to leave (really it’s the return part) to the USA. I hate that I have to plan and save for fees I’ve already paid (do they really think his biomentrics/fingerprints have changed in 2 years).  I hate that I have to go through all this while watching other married friends never worry about such things.

We’ve sent the paperwork to Vermont (our filing service center) and have received the receipt and his appointment for re-fingerprinting. After that, we wait for the next instructions from the government.

D’orsay immigration posts:

Post 1
Post 2
Post 3
Post 4
Post 5
Post 6
Post 7
Post 8
Post 9

Sweet baby J – you’re on post 10!

My maternal grandmother has been in a steady decline for a few years now. I can still remember sitting in their house near Annapolis, my grandmother in her blue chair and her struggle to remember the word “button”. She was pointing to her sweater, saying “this, oh this… oh dear… this?”. Then I began to worry.

I worried as they moved to their retirement community (which, really was a great move for them), I worried as my grandmother lost more and more of her ability to communicate. I worried as I became “a nice lady” and she no longer knew me as her granddaughter. I worried as my mother, and her sisters also became known to her as “nice young ladies” but most of all I worried for the day when my grandfather would become “a nice old man” to her.

My grandparents have been together since high school, through WWII and my grandfather’s service, through moving all over the country raising four children. Even through settling down into retirement and the enjoyment of the family that they created and its growing members.

Always, they have loved and treated each other with great respect and kindness. All in the family strive to emulate their relationship, their kindness and their giving. My grandparents have each been each other’s world for so long that I have been terrified what will happen to their orbit if one of them slips away. Years after the rest of us became nice people who visit her she was able to hold on to my grandfather, to know him, to at least have an emotional understanding if not a cognitive one. This past week my grandparents spent their last night together and my grandmother moved several buildings down into a full time care facility.

I took my nephew to see them, because on a very sad day, a very happy baby can bring most people joy. But it just about broke my heart in two as I watched my grandfather bring Sebastian (nephew) over to my grandmother – but she was in her own world at that moment and couldn’t interact with her husband or great grandson.

While I still have my grandmother in body, it feels like we’ve lost her spirit. I really hate myself for mentioning The Notebook, but you know that scene where you realize that they did in fact marry, but that she has no clue who her husband is? That movie came out right about the same time that she began to have difficulties and since then I’ve been dreading that moment for my grandparents. My grandmother has been slowly slipping out of our grasp for years, and it’s one of the most painful things I’ve witnessed.

Which is why, with my cousins, I’ll be walking in DC Walk to End Alzheimer’s. You might be shocked at this, because in general I eschew walks for diseases, because I feel that directly donating to research or an organization that can spend the dollars directly rather than on a costly walk is better. But I get it now, people aren’t just walking/running/whatever-ing for a cure they do it for the solidarity, for the fellowship.

Please support my cousins and I, because memories are invaluable and time spent with loved ones is never time wasted.

I saw this video while perusing  The Ultimate Female - and then I went to see Crazy Stupid Love. Which didn’t pass the test. Then I tried to think of movies that WOULD pass the test, and really struggled.

(In case the video doesn’t work embedded view here)

Can you think of a movie that passes?

Hi guys,

I’ve been so naughty and lost track of the days, I had a guest post go up at What the Frock! Go check it out You can also visit my Pinterest for more of my pinning activity.

Have you tried the Salt and Vinegar Almonds from Blue Diamond?

They’re practically addictive. I was hoping for an almond recipe that would work to less than $4 per  a few ounces and contained a few more natural ingredients. I searched high and low for a recipe, but couldn’t really find one that seemed a success.  I started by soaking a large handful (I would guess 1 cup, perhaps an overflowing 1 cup measure) in malt vinegar for a day and a half. I put them in the bowl around 9pm, and took them out to bake around 4pm the following day. You’ll be surprised by how much the almonds soak up! Then I places them on a baking sheet, sprinkled them with salt and put them in to back at 375. I first did 10 minutes, but the almonds were still more chewy than crunchy. I put them back in for about 15-20 more minutes and they were great!

They don’t pack the intense vinegar flavor that the blue diamond kind does, but it’s in there. Ideally I’d make a vinegar paste that coats the almonds. I may try mixing in a bit of almond flour to make the paste next time. I don’t have any pictures, because they look like almonds and I’m pretty sure we all know what almonds look like.

Have you made any flavored nut recipes?

Apparently, I am!

Sorry to promote myself, but I’m well chuffed!

ps. Major ups to my cousin Rachel for sending me this <3

Surprise! You thought I was gone, finished, finto after my recaps! Perhaps one day I’ll be writing a signing off post, but today is not that day my friends. As the spouse of an immigrant it’s going to be a very long time until I get to stop writing about marriage and immigration- but this post is not about that yucky business- it’s about photos!

I was lucky enough to be a fast commenter on a weddingbee classifieds post from Muriel Silva – an AMAZING photographer in the DC/MD/VA area. Despite the chilly temperatures (this session was in December 2009) and Mr.D’s general dislike of being a photography subject, we had a great time. If I were planning my wedding (and you know, not already married) I would hire her in an instant. If we’re in the states, and she’s doing maternity photos – I’ll be giving her a call in a few years.

We had a great time in Annapolis

At the end, we stopped by my favorite childhood ice cream shop and took a few shots with the letters I had made (cardboard and spray paint form Michaels). The letters now hang in our living room.

Did you do a couples shoot post wedding?

Mr. D and I nervously stepped up to do our first dance to Stevie Ray Vaughn’s Pride and Joy. We also heard this song on our first date, but I’m pretty sure it’s not about prostitutes or whorehouses. I think we asked it to be shortened to 45 seconds, Mr.D is not so big on the “everyone staring” thing that happens when you’re the only people dancing in a crowded room.

(Image via Jenna Cole)

My Dad and I danced to the ever popular Paul Simon’s Father and Daughter. I know so many people use this song, but since I’ve always loved it, I didn’t mind. We got teary again, because, well for one day at least that was how we rolled.

Thanks to our DJ’s suggestion, Mr.D danced with his mom to the Beatles, appropriate no?

Admittedly, our dance floor was off to a bit of a slow start. But things did pick up when our caterer tried to close the bar an hour early (so perhaps it was a blessing in disguise).

Newly refreshed, people started to boogie down. Perhaps you’ve heard of the hammer dance? Have you ever seen it performed by a hilarious Englishman?

Pretty soon, EVERYONE was getting down.

After I returned from my 20 minute search for the caterer to ask why the bar was closing an hour early-I joined in for some fun.

Mr.D taught us all to “big fish, little fish, cardboard box, put it on a shelf”

And Cupcake broke out the Brookie

I did the robot

(image by Jenna Cole)

and danced with my best friend

and my newly minted spouse

we sang at the top of our lungs

and my dad and I, as well as Mr.D and my mother, helped to close the dance floor out.

It was, to this day – two years later, the best day of my life. I married my bestest friend, was able to hang out with (almost all) the most important people in our lives and had a blast. Thank you so much for being part of the process.

All images unless otherwise noted are from Evan Bishop

The full and final, d’orsay recaps!

• US meets UK: Toasts, Dinner and a Lost Caterer
• US meets UK: The In-Between
• US meets UK: The Details of the Ceremony
• US meets UK: We Get Married!
• US meets UK: Heading Down the Aisle
• US meets UK: Everyone Arrives…Except For My Dad!
• US meets UK: I Can’t Believe We Also Forgot The…
• US meets UK: I Can’t Believe We Forgot The…
• US meets UK: A Spoiler Alert!
• US meets UK: Where I Am Late for My Own Wedding
• US meets UK: Getting Ready
• US meets UK: I Get by With a Little Help From My Friends